Sunday, December 21, 2008

Free Hugs! Anybody?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Candles were lit everywhere, in the hands of kids, youngsters, elderly people and they were in large numbers. The array of people was endless extending beyond site. They all looked sad and were lighting their candles with the help of each other. Some were crying and traces of tears could be seen in all of them. Some of them, mostly kids were carrying banners. One of the banners read WE LOVE YOU, in colors and a line sketch of a kid. Another one read “You were the best boy in our school”. And there she was, the mamma’s girl, she was carrying a small poster, apparently made by herself which read:

“You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum

Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie

You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop

Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye

I WILL MISS YOU ROHAN

So she had written lyrics of the cuppycake song. But, miss you Rohan? What happened to him? Finally he saw his own photo clad with flowers, and agarbattis. Oh! So it was his mourning meet. His mom, dad, grandparents and the neighbors were sitting there circling around the photo. All were looking sad and sobbing; and some were all praise for him. “Do they really love me so much?” he thought and saw his mom coming towards the photo. She started yelling Rohan, Rohan beta, wake up… you are getting late for school.

“Oh! So it was a dream, obviously it was… in real no one would care for me,” he thought and left the bed. Now that he was in standard six, he could get ready on his own. The school was opening after a month break after final exams of 5th standard and results were also expected today. He got ready fast, had breakfast, stuffed the bag with new books and lunch box and left for the school.

---------o-O-o---------

It was great to meet the classmates in school after a long break. He took his seat and participated in the chattering. After a couple of minutes she came and took a seat beside him, her name was Tanya. She was a good friend though some of the things used to pinch him a lot, such as she always used to say these things:

“Mamma brought me a video of cuppycake song and asked me to practice”; “Mamma dropped me to the school”; “Mamma took me for a movie”; “Mamma has packed some roasted paneer today for lunch”; “Mamma surprised me with a gift”; and so on…..

He wondered why her mamma doesn’t attend classes with her in the school too. The class-teacher entered the classroom and greeted them for advancing to the next standard. The results were announced and Rohan got 2nd rank in the class, his buddy Rahul got 1st and Tanya 20. She was happy and said her mom would be excited that she did well despite of taking part in dance and sports too.

---------o-O-o---------

He came back home, got fresh, started the TV and waited for mom to come from office. There was phone call from Tanya, she said her mamma was happy for her scoring more than 80 and is taking her out with dad for dinner. He told her that parents are not home yet and he will share the moment with her after they come. He called Rahul but no one answered the call. As if the celebrations have already begun, he thought. He checked the clock, 7PM, time for mom to come home. The doorbell rang, “what a coincidence”, he thought and opened the door.

“How you doing beta,” she asked while coming in. “I am good mom,” he said; “yes; I am always good!” he thought. “You say mom, how was your day at work?”

“It was good, a little hectic though. Did you take evening snacks; see how thin you have become?”

“Yes mom” he said and wondered what difference it might make if he would have been fatter. Everyone used to call Ravi, the fattest kid in his class, a ‘motu’.

“That’s good. Ok I will get fresh and then get back….”

He interrupted “mom you remember today was my first day in standard…”

“Six! Sorry son, how could I forget that? Congratulations beta. So how was the day? And what about the results?

“I ranked 2nd mom”

“That’s my boy…” she hugged him and kissed him. “…Your dad would love to hear that. Great!”

“Thanks mom,” he smiled finally.

“And how was your first day, and you met your friends?”

He shared the day’s happenings with her and about the new courses coming up and about friends. Today his dad was unusually late and came just before the dinner. Her mom said it would be better to tell dad about the results during dinner itself.

---------o-O-o---------

As usual he was tired and got freshen up quickly for the dinner. Once they were on dining table and started eating, Rohan whispered, “Mom……”

“Hey, you know, Rohan has got second rank in his class.”

“That’s great, akhir beta kiska hai.”

Achha, as if I do nothing for him.” His mom said, tone changing.

“Well, I didn’t say that…”

“You always mean the same; all you can do is to take credit. Have you ever asked him how his studies are going on and all?”

“Well, he is no more a kid and knows for better.”

The paratha he was eating had lost its taste. “They will miss me only after I’ll leave them…” he thought, recollecting the last night’s dream, “… but that way they are going to waste a lot of candles.” He found the idea of lighting so many candles funny and finished the rest of dinner counting the optimum number of candles. He thought he would not allow anybody to light more than one candle. “OK! You may take one more,” he thought as he envisioned Tanya whining for more. Finally he excused himself and went off to his room. “Are you sick? You didn’t even congratulate him properly,” he heard mom, who was still taking on dad.

“Sorry son…” he said as he entered the room after a while. “… so how was your 1st day in standard six?”

“It was good dad,” came the answer in ‘do you really care’ tone.

“Well, I know we did hurt you. Sorry for that…”

“Its ok dad” he said as he was kind of used to this.

“So, you did really great in exam and deserve a gift. Tell me, whatever you want.”

This was a little unexpected for him. He didn’t have much interest in video games and the other usual things kids usually ask for. Suddenly something flashed in his mind. “A day out!”

“What?”

“I said a day out with you and mom; may be during this weekend. We can go out watch some movie and eat in a restaurant”

“Well…” Yes, he was trying to recall the last time they spent a weekend like this. ‘At least a month,’ he thought and continued “… why not? Let’s make it this weekend itself. And just a day out won’t be enough for this thing. We will do some shopping for you too.”

“Thanks dad. Thanks a lot!” he was smiling now.

“Anytime beta! Your mom said that you were just 10 marks short to the 1st ranker. This time you should top the exam. 10 marks are not a big difference”

Rahul was one of his best buddies. They used to study together at times and shared notes. So it didn’t really matter to him if Rahul was 10 marks ahead. Still he said he would try to top this year. Looked like he was getting ready for the competitive world he will be facing upon very soon in life.

---------o-O-o---------

He told Tanya about the plan for the weekend. “That’s great!” she said and told him about the movie she had seen with mom. She also told him to watch the same movie since she liked that. “What have you brought in lunch today?” she inquired.

“Don’t ask!”

“Why?... oh the same thing, veg. cheese sandwich?” she said and grinned.

“Yup!”

“My mamma has packed chicken noodles today. Don’t worry, we will share.” She said and giggled.

“Damn your mamma!” he thought, “thanks!” he said and started thinking about the coming weekend. He was really excited.

---------o-O-o---------

So finally the weekend has arrived. They were getting ready to go to one of the newest and largest malls in the city. His dad proposed to catch a matinee show, do some shopping and then make the day complete with a dinner. However the mom reminded him that his friend Nishant was invited for dinner tonight and he will be joining them. So, the plan was modified by replacing the dinner with the lunch.

As they reached there, Rohan noticed some young girls and boys with banners in their hands which read, “FREE HUGS CAMPAIGN”. The same thing was printed on their t-shirts. Strange! He thought and moved on to hug one of the guys there. They hugged for a while; he really liked it and hugged another of them. Then another girl hugged and kissed him on cheeks and also ruffled his hair. He was all smiles. He was about to hug another one in the group, then his dad did stopped him by holding his hand. “Enough son!” he said “let’s go and buy the…” he was interrupted by one of the boys offering him a hug. He obliged though a little reluctantly. Anyway the idea of campaign sounded great to Rohan as he was feeling great.

Now they proceeded for a sumptuous lunch which was followed by movie and some shopping. They returned home early evening so as to buy time to prepare something and to order some more things for the planned dinner.

---------o-O-o---------

Nishant was his dad’s friend cum classmate and used to join them for dinner sometimes. He was a self-employed person and was also a trustee for one of the orphanage in the city. While they started eating Rohan observed him closely. He was tall, had a smiling face and kept two day grown stubble. “He looks younger than dad,” he thought. They were discussing general affairs related to work and his business. “So how is your orphanage going?” his mom asked in between.

“It’s great. Now we have more funds with us from the addition of some new donors.”

“Sound’s great!”

“In fact tomorrow we are celebrating the annual function. All kids are excited and preparing hard for the occasion.”

“Can I go there with you tomorrow?” Rohan asked.

“Why?” his mom and dad in unison.

“Well, why not! Of course you can join me Rohan. And you two are also invited.” Nishant said as he looked at his surprised mom-dad.

“OK, I don’t have any problem as such. Do you?” dad asked mom.

“No, he can go if he wishes. But I will not be joining you people as I got some work back home.”

His dad also had some work or something and refrained from the visit. So they finally decided that Nishant will pick Rohan in the morning and take him to the function.

---------o-O-o---------

Nishant knew almost each and every kid by their names. As he reached the orphanage, all kids surrounded and greeted him. Many of them came forward and hugged him. Nishant tossed few little ones in the air and kissed them. He also distributed the gifts he’s brought for them and other required things for the celebration. Rohan helped him in distributing the gifts etc. and relished the happenings.

It was a real festive environment in the orphanage. Some kids were dancing on some Bollywood dance number at one side. Some were trying to bind the matki rope on each side of wall which will be broken later today to mark the end of third year of the institution. Everyone was either having fun or was helping for the celebration. A group was preparing the feast to be served for lunch. Some kids were playing cricket on a side. Rohan joined them for a couple of matches.

A few hours after lunch, the celebration had come to an end. Nishant cheered the kids, and excused himself for the rest of the day. Rohan too waived hands as the car sped away from the orphanage. He thanked Nishant for bringing him to the place. “Uncle, they really don’t have any parents?” he asked, sounded inquisitive.

“Of course Rohan. It’s an orphanage,” said Nishant sensing Rohan’s doubts.

“Hmmmmm still they looked really happy!”

“Well, all of them are aware that they don’t have parents and they don’t expect any parental love to make them feel happy. I think that’s the funda here.”

“You mean to say that, the more you expect to be loved the less being loved you feel?”

“Yes probably! And to bring happiness in life you should love yourself and love others.”

Rohan was silent and thinking for a while. A memory of the free hugs also flashed his mind. A smile came on his thin face. Then he hugged and thanked Nishant.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Vikash Kumar


Dedicated to all my loved ones......


Dear Readers,


First of all thanks for reading upto this... :)

The primary idea of this story took birth around 6 months back. I thought of quite a lot of ideas and scenes to make it complete, but still took a lot of time. I am not very much aware of children' psychology so had to go through some experiences etc. to make it conclusive upto some extent.

I thank all of you for appreciating my work of Narrow-man Point which encouraged me to write further. However because of career pressure I couldn't spend much time. I especially thank Varun Grover, my friend and mentor for helping me continuously in this endeavor.

Again I would request all the readers to post your comments and feedbacks to enable me to improve further.


Thanks!!!!!
Vikash

14 comments:

Varun said...

Ok...so finally it's here. It looks good on second reading. And the best parts are invariably where Rohan is talking to himself...that trademark humor of yours is very much visible. Again, the weaker parts are the characterizations of elders...though from the overall impact point of view, the story works in spite of that.

Loved that part about 'optimum candles' and appreciate the way you have avoided (though 'just') the cliched response of parents in the dinner-table scenes.

I would say, lots of scope for improvement...but lots more reasons to keep writing too.

Anonymous said...

Nice one, a suggestion though! Plz take the advices with a pinch of salt!! Anyone can give advices,but whose advice to take is what really matters!!!Cheers

Anonymous said...

It is a very well written article which describes the emotions of an 11 yr old kid devoid of love in a very lucid manner. It also has its humorous streak with the writer showing his dispassion towards the constant blabbering of Tanya through the thought process of the protagonist. The article is very gripping and there is not a single moment when the reader loses interest. I would say keep up the good work and continue enthralling us with these kind of articles in future.

Unknown said...

Dear Grover, Vaibhav and Anonymous...

Thanks for your views and encouragement.

@Varun... Thanks yaar for posting the review. Actually I intentionally didn't work on characterization of the parents for 2 reasons:
1. I want them to be generic, so that every1 can relate to them. If I put up a specific character, then people will feel that he/she is different from me.
2. The length of story would even go further.

However, if I will send it to further publishing etc, will add the character element definitely.

Cityboy said...

Very lucid and gripping, the story peeps into a child's heart and touches your heart, vikash seem to have mastered the art of story telling, hats off ....

upasanaa said...

good things..
-the story keeps you binded to read till end.
-protagonist is likeable.
-content is woven in easy nd interesting way...
-dialogues and narration was good aloth could be improved.

neutral things..
- the pause between scenes.. dunno if it is actually meant to be noticed as pause or just unintentional variation... it causes a little distraction..

negative things...
- the charactersketch of adults seemed a bit under developed .. i think more could be done with that.
- the subject was a bit unclear throught.. or may be it was the extract of story or what you want to communicate was a bit unclear.

Ajay Kr Saxena said...

Hi Vikas,

jus finished reading your wonderful story,and liked it. The title is intriguing and best i liked it that MAMMA's gal ... she was a perfect foil to Rohan.
The theme of story is quite good, but I found it a bit difficult to digets, you conveying message of LOVE YOURSELF through a 6th std child.well, it my point of view as a reader.
Dont you think, climax could have been tighter?
But nothing to take away from you ,full marks for penning down it , for THAT'S WHT MATTERS!! .. THE ACTION.

And yes, you deserve some brownie points for touching a very sensitive topic, keep it coming !!!

Best wishes!

Unknown said...

From Narrow Man's Point to Free Hugs , its a great journey my namesake. Narrow Man was an enthusiastic ( may be an adventurous endeavor )but "free hug" is a well crafted , well thought of stuff.. Humor, looks perfectly paced with story... there is a lucid flow which indeed keeps one curious till end... however I expected more in the story.. I did wanted more in the end... May be u have written the first chapter of the Novel... and u need to build around it into a complete 5-6 chapter story. Give it a thought my friend !
My BEST part of the story -- " He wondered why her mamma doesn’t attend classes with her in the school too "...
Vikas Atre

Anonymous said...

Good one Sir,
a Mature writing in few words!
Keep writing.

Asim

Anonymous said...

Nice one to read & cherish, school days. Taare Zammen pe inspired lag raha hai.......
Girls are mumma's girl as mother is their first best friend. Its good to understand boy's psychology as well....
I liked last paragraph most, we will be happy only if dont feel to loved by somebody else to make us complete.

Happy human being is best human being.

Stay happy & feel blessed

Unknown said...

Dharam, Upasana, Ajay, Atre, Asim and Sucharita...thanks a lot for your reviews...!!

Upasana--- As i said i have compromised with the characterisation of elders for length... I will work on that. And the subject matter also needs to be elaborated in the climax. Working on that too. Pauses, i can't say, felt like having them. Though, yes we dont have so quick pauses in short stories.
And I thank you for a critical review. This will help me further.

Ajay... haan yaar... its not common for a 6th std student to get to understand these things. But as early one do the better it is. And there are kids who see many things at early age and attain maturity earlier. But yes... its somewhat debatable..

Atre Saab... If you liked it, thr must be something... this is what wud occur to many people... :)
hmmm i know you wanted more as we discussed... let c if I can work on it further...

Suchi... thanks yaar... though taare jammen par se inspired nahi hai... means it can be a story of any batchmate of darsheel... or you can say that, "every child irrespective of being dislexic is special"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anonymous said...

nice vikash...well written dear....awesome postings yaar...tu to bhaut accha likhta hai..aati sunder...i liked yr shayri jo tune title par post ki hai ....very lovely sweet boy :)

SR said...

Loved the way you pend your thoughts ...quite interesting

Illeen said...

Captured my interest and held my attention till the end. You write well and I love the way you you handle the detailing of some of the moments.. Rohan came across as utterly adorable during the 'Free Hugs' sequence

Good job done Vikas.. Keep posting :)