Saturday, June 9, 2007

NARROW-MAN POINT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Churchgate! Was the first word whizzed into his ears when he came out of his high-rise office. The taxi-walas were trying to lure passengers for the station. It reminded him of his early days in Mumbai when he was doing internship with a firm in Nariman Point. Six years has passed but nothing has really changed in his life. The firm where he interned was just two blocks away and he often used to walk across the streets for fast food or just hanging out with friends. Once they took a buggy ride from there to marine drive, and then spent there 4 hours while chatting with friends. There were some good sandwich stalls, some bhelpuri-wala etc., who all were still there, but now-a-days he could hardly visit them. Suddenly his heart craved for such enjoyable moments. Now he could see the sea directly from his cabin in the office but could hardly feel it.

He was working for an investment bank in private equity and was usually loaded with assignments, commitments and appointments. He traveled across the world but his heart was still as earlier, quite but devoid of something he didn’t know. That day he was not in hurry to reach home. He saw a group of youngsters walking along the roadside towards the sea. He just thought of also going there and spending some time. Once, he used to enjoy the wide walls built along the coastline and sit there for long; doesn’t matter if he is alone or having some company.

He felt the cell phone pulsating in his pocket. Airtel was offering some discounted caller tune on Rs. 100 monthly rental. He got bit peeved by the message and deleted that. His thoughts raced and he was inadvertently calculating the expected number of song downloaders and as a result the returns to the company over the cost of acquiring the songs from the production company. Ridiculous! He cursed himself and marched along towards the sea.

What’s the time? Asked the middle-aged man in blazers, he wondered whether that man was really having no watch or equivalent. 8-40 he said and didn’t stop to acknowledge his thanksgiving. It was the usual time he used to leave the office. He thought of the village where he resided in childhood which was deprived of electricity and everyone used to go asleep by 8-30 in the evening. The children used to study in groups with a single kerosene-run lantern. The nearest high school was 1 kose (rural measure, equivalent to 1.6 Kms) far from village. However one good thing, there was no heavy baggage issue in these schools, one just needed to carry 3-4 books and 1-2 notebooks.

Now he was there on the seaside, found a relatively free place to sit quietly. He just remembered his old days, his family, friends and whatever raced through his mind. He felt at ease, after all he was there after at least a couple of years. He thought of his wife who was currently in Singapore for some official work and would be coming back the day after. He thought of the excitement they felt before the marriage and the consumerism evading their love, their life, everything. Both were at early stage of career and thus focused more on job than on each other to carve their niche in respective career. Lag jaa gale se ki phir...., sound came from his cell-phone. It was her call , she informed that she will stay there 2 days longer for some unexpected complexities, apologized and hung up.

He still sat there calmly watching the widespread sea. He suddenly felt like a child and remembered his mother. He felt like lying in his mother’s lap. The mom’s fingers trailing through the hair used to bestow much more coolness than any Daikin ceiling air conditioners. He felt little moist under his eyes, he just felt as if he had almost everything but still not happy. The emptiness did hit him hard and a stream of tears came out. He didn’t try to control that, it was making him feel better. He felt like smoking and picked a 555 from the packet. But, he noticed an elderly couple and didn’t light the cigarette. By this time he was quite calm and started recovering from the trance he was into. Now it was 9-30 in the night, he remembered about the invitation from Vikash, his friend cum colleague in the company, for dinner at his home. Vikash knew that he is alone and has arranged a small home-cocktail party for the two. He arrived there late at 10 hrs, and both ate, drank and talked for hours. He slept in his apartment only and left for office from there in the morning.

He again drove through the sealine and spotted the place he was sitting yesterday. A smile filled with varied emotions appeared on his face and he moved towards the office, again into the everyday life-tunnel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

© Vikash Kumar

P.S.:

  1. This is my first story, so all the readers are requested to send comments and suggestions on title and text.
  2. It’s a work of fiction and not my real story.

26 comments:

Varun said...

I won't believe that it's pure fiction as I cud see ur life and times and the current mindset and goals (and fears) running through it.

A nice little peep into the city life and the ever-changing India. The crafting, story-telling and grammar could be improved a lot...but on the idea level, as well as the subtext depicted....just loved it.

bala said...

Hey...I really liked the form of writing. You drew pictures with words...and that was great. Keep it up yaar...
On a critical note, the grammer could be cleaned up slightly...but overall, very well written!

shank said...

It seems that you really have vella time...

On more serious note its a very good attempt..keep trying

arif said...

Without being judgemental in any way, I would say I loved to read it and more so when I imagined the narrator as narrated!!

Unknown said...

Simply loved the way the u wrote it...keep it up dude....

Unknown said...

First Autobiography of VGSOMite !!!!

Cityboy said...

lucid, compelling, vivacious and touching

Jayakumar R said...

Hi Vikas, I enjoyed reading. A very good first attempt. Keep it up. My Best wishes.

Unknown said...

Yes, there are some grammatical mistakes, i will work on these... after all there are few notable english writer from bihar... :-)



@Varun: thanks for d comment... ya actually tht story is derived from some colleagues here, my future ambitions and apprehensions. i.e. the conflict between personal and professional ambitions.... :)

@Bala: thanks a lot for d encouraging words.

@Shawshank: if u think one is vella between night 12 to 2'o clock, then of course i m vella.. :)..... thanks for d compliment.... :)

@Arif... thanks yaar.... i will try to continue writing more stories...

@Vishal: thanks yaar... now instead of jogging, i will let my brain jog... :)

@Ratty: thanks a lot for d encouraging words.... however, it wud have been good if its a autobiography.. at least i had a good job... :-)

@dharam bhai.. thanks a lot yaar...

@Jaykumar Sir.. Thanks a lot sir, its an honour for me to have ur comments.

Anonymous said...

The very first thing which i liked about the article was the title " NARROW-MAN POINT" and it really excited me to read the lines underneath with utmost attention...

its a very good attempt to capture the dillemmas,aspirations,grievences,struggle of contemparory world's so called highly paid EXECUTIVES....

Sourabh Arya said...

Well i really liked the story, yes there were certain errors but they hardly made any difference atleast to me. The way your emotions came out were certainly a level above appreciation they touched my hert and i guess others to.
On a ending note i would say a great first attempt and hope to see more in near future till then best of luck.

Anonymous said...

awesome............
Smita Singh

Madhu said...

a very beautiful imagination...and a bitter fact of Life...! Buddy, u r really a very talented guy! u'll progress a lot in ur Life...All the Best!

Vipin said...

Hey Vikash,
shud i write "i enjoyed"....instead i started pondering over the fact that most of us r probably goin 2 face in near future.Nice "future fact" depiction n perfect of course.
While reading...just i got tmpted to call u up....but then i heard a voice..."Hey....chillax...sometime later...not much balance"....
Is Life waning????????.......creeps in my mind......that we can't avoid.
Gr8....work man.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant... a true sketch of corporate reality... n guess what!! we r all the victims of it.. well done Vikash.

Kamal Ramnani said...

acha likha hai.....:)

Anonymous said...

kya likha yaar...the flow and emotions u have put in story marvelous...
kya bat hai apna past..present aur Future(..wife in delhi!!!!) ..ek sath present kar diya....
KEEP IT UP ..

Premal's blog said...

Hi Vikash you have a thing for writing man, trust me its latent but its there. Explore it more and you will be able to come up wiht work that is genuine and original.
To be honest i too habour the desire to rite a story and have read quite a few as well but i think yours is very good. Also the title is nice and subtle and hits you after reading it so keep up the good work friend. Lwts meet over dinner tonight, where At an analyst meet(ofcourse)Just kidding1

Reepak. said...

it was good man..every day i use to see the link on ur orkut profile but due to some or other reason i procrastinated every time..
anw ways..its a wonderful short story..i wont go into the nitpicking,actualy i cant do since i liked it so much..ican see a budding writter peeping out from these pages..the plot is wonderfully selected...the finish was nice..flow was mellifluous...keep it up boy...
waiting for the next one..!!

Anonymous said...

hi vikas..................
i dnt no wether dis a peice of fiction or ........as i dnt no u wel , but i really want 2 congratulate u 4 the well crafted peice u have written ...........i simply loved reading it as a reader it held me frm the start till the end...............
good job buddy keep going ........congratulations n all the best

Anonymous said...

the thought is true to a great extent. thats wat happensgenerally. but sir when we talk abt fiction do add in something unrealistic too. newayz nice try. but it does somehow i feel shows traces of ur life. n wat u wudnt want ur future to b.
tc n keep smiling

Tulika said...

It is simply excellent. Excellent coz' it showed me my future (seemed like running on big screen) if I let my life flow like now....

I could not face the truth, the truth of career ,ambition & like jargons....

Well, thanks vikash.. now & always..

and as expected.. nice piece of work, closey knitted story, great style of writing etc etc...

Unknown said...

This fiction story just increased the respect i have for your writing skills... ;)
Apul

Unknown said...

Dude......felt like my life rolling in frnt of my eyes...nice attemot

just like that said...

The continuity of thoughts forced me to beleive that your words are very much capable of reigning the heart........
it is real fascinating moment for me that my childhood buddy has grown up into a erudite person...


great dude
keep it up...

Pooja said...

Hey ....this story ..presents loads of paradoxes surrounding life ....one of them is the conflict surrounding free choices vs. compulsion ....what does our acts n wishes in life reflect -are they a product of our choices or just a compulsion ....then it also throws light on the discomfort associated with the issues of holding on vs. letting go ....there r many emotions ..how much can we hold on and move and how much deserve to be just let go .......i m sure u must have touched on your personal reflections surrounding life ....feel good ...reading at the same time can so much empathize and connect with the narrator.....well it will be much more interesting to know what do we do with such complexities of life ....do we simply live with them or make efforts to arrive at some meaningfulness and love in life .....this is a moving story ....